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Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Mari Katakan "Bullshit" Dengan Uang



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Tak butuh duit untuk memulai bisnis apalagi berserah diri pada modal besar. Ini bukan iguan anak kecil yang kena demam tinggi lalu step. Ini bukan tulisan mbelgedes. Bukan pula kampanye yang mirip dengan tong bermulut besar yang kosong melompong. Tahu ngga jeng? Bank Mega dirintis Chairil Tanjung dengan tanpa modal. Malah lebih parah, kondisi bank itu kedodoran besar-besaran dan sekarat. Dengan saldo merah mencapai 90 miliar. Ih Ngeri!

Kalau Jeng di kasih perusahaan dengan hutang mencapai 90 miliar dan wajib melunasi hutang itu. Mungkin banyak yang angkat tangan atau angkat kaki.  Tapi itu lebih baik dari pada angkat rok! Sebab kalau angkat yang terakhir terus ada aki-aki bungkuk lewat, ia bisa tegak! Lupa sama bongkoknya. Atau mungkin ada yang bilang, kalau di kasih perusahan besar terus mewarisi juga hutang 90 miliar lebih baik menganggon bebek aja. Atau “nyusuin” bebek sekalian. Gila 90 Miliar jeng. Itu cukup untuk ajak orang sedesa berikut segala sesuatu yang ada di situ untuk naik haji. Ck..ck..ck! eh Subhanallah atuh! Bukan ck..ck..ck!

Ok, kita lanjut lagi cerita inspiratif dari pemilik Trans TV ini. Bukan hanya hutang 90 miliar, edannya lagi lebih dari 90 persen kredit di Mega Bank macet total. Tehnologinya juga jadul, norak dan katrok. Nyaris mirip dengan tehnologi  tata kelola kas masjid. Sebab semua nya hanya mengandalkan buku besar. Komputer cuma dua biji. Satu di pakai sekretris direksi di Kebon Sirih Jakarta Pusat dan sebiji lagi ada di Surabaya. Wuedan tenan! Astagfirullah atuh! Bukan Weudan tenan.

Pak CT, demikian ia akrab dipanggil, lantas minta wangsit ke Bank Indonesia kenapa ia yang saat itu sama sekali nol besar dalam bidang ini yang di tawari Arbali Sukanal Direktur Utama Bapindo untuk mengelola bank yang sakit kronisnya minta ampun itu? Pebisnis yang lahir di kawasan kumuh ini tak punya ilmu, pengalaman, atau track record sama sekali di bidang bank! Jawaban dari pihak BI sangat sederhana. Integritas itu jawabannya. Bahwa CT punya integritas yang bagus. Ini juga salahsatu hal yang harus di contoh. Untuk memulai atau membesarkan bisnis maka integritas jadi modal utama bukan uang. Singkatnya,  Mega Bank di beli dengan harga, yang juga wuedan tenan, yaitu Rp 1 doang. Sinting! Sebuah bank besar dengan masalah bengkaknya minta ampun dibeli cuma dengan harga, satu rupiah jeng! Weudan tenan kan? Subhanallah atuh bukan Wuedan tenan!

Usai itu, proses edan berkepanjangan lainnya berlangsung sambung menyambung; rapat gila-gilaan sampai jam 2 malam dibawah penerangan seadanya. Dahar hanya junk food dan segala bentuk pengiritan menjadi sesuatu yang mutlak. Semuanya bersumbu pada satu visi bersama yaitu, harus memutar otak sampai kepala terasa mendidih untuk mencari titik temu bagaimana membuat pemasukan menjadi gendut dan pengeluran jadi ceking, singset bin langsing.

Di perusahaan itu pengeluaran diperlakukan mirip dengan “pinggang” yang diikat sekencang-kencangnya. Mereka kerja dengan sangat sinting  untuk menaklukan berbagai masalah. Dalam konteks peperangan bisnis antar bank mereka sangat kalah jumlah dan peralatan tempur, namun demikian  toh mereka sukses. Sama suksesnya dengan 12 ribu patriot muslim yang yang mampu menggergaji 100 ribu tentara Romawi di bawah kepemimpinan Maukaukis yang mati terkencing-kencing.

Itu lah contoh yang tuan putri harus pancang dengan edan bahwa tidak perlu modal ketika berbisnis. Let’s say mbelgedes dengan uang. Tidak perlu ahli di bidang itu. Tak perlu  harus berpengalaman. Kita hanya perlu keyakinan untuk sukses. Itu inti dari segala inti usaha. Yakin! Itu aja, simple. Habis itu baru deh siapin diri untuk menjadi pemenang dalam proses edan berkepanjangan lainnya yang berlangsung sambung menyambung  seperti di atas.

Yakin sukses! Itu Jurus jitu anti bangkrut. Tidak percaya? Oke saya ceritain sedikit lagi. Saya ada kawan Tukang Nasi Uduk di Ruko Cempaka Mas Jakarta Pusat. Awal merintis usaha modal dengkul. Malah pinjam sama orang tua. Tepat  jam 3 pagi ia sudah bangun. Bukannya tahajut malah “menyembah” kompor langsung memasak. Ia  juga malas atau sebutlah “alergi” salat. Tapi ia yakin dagangnya sukses. Dalam seminggu, itu dagangan yang menurut  sebagian orang bisnis kampungan atau tidak bonafid, malah mampu memetik hasil 2,5 juta. Jika  sebulan, maka 10 juta dipegang. Kantongnya jadi gendut. Suer! Gaji manager mah lewat. Kalah sama dia. Itu segitu tidak salat. Apalagi kalau menjaga salat di tambah tahajut, Dhuha dan lain-lain. Saya yakin penghasilannya wuedan tenan.

Sementara teman lain yang pencundang selalu bilang ah, itu sudah rezeki dia. Belum tentu rezeki kita sama kalau merintis usaha. Aduh Jeng! pencundang memang begitu. Selalu pintar berdalih! Jago beralasan. Tidak berani mencoba peluang. Selalu berlindung di balik telapak kaki rasa syukur. Ah syukuri aja pekerjaan yang ada. Sementara ada dengki yang terbersit ketika melihat teman yang lebih bodoh dari dirinya sukses ketika berusaha. Syukur yang sejati itu bertumbuh. Ia tidak diam di satu titik. Tengoklah bagaimana pohon bersyukur. Bayangkan kalau berkerja lalu besok nya di pecat. Atau bos nya mendadak tertipu. Hartanya ludes di pelorotin cewek matre. Lalu perusahaan tempat ia berkerja bangkrut. Apa masih bisa bersyukur?

Ingat Ya Jeng. Nabi tidak pernah jadi karyawan orang. Dan Usaha adalah salahsatu jalan kenabian! Lagi-lagi orang pencundang akan bilang, ah itu kan nabi, kita mah bukan Nabi. Susah kalau usaha. Aduh ini “onta” memang  pecundang. Hanya pintar berasalan. Sayang lho jeng jika kepintaran itu hanya dipergunakan untuk berdalih. Liat kisah CT di atas ia tidak pintar berdalih.  Ia sibuk berusaha dan berkerja sampai sinting dan walau tidak cukup modal bahkan usaha yang dirintisnya punya utang 90 miliar, pengusaha yang pernah gagal jadi suplayer alat kedokteran ini tetap yakin sama Allah.

Bank Mega yang dibangun ulang oleh anak singkong yang lahir dari perut kemiskinan dan memulai usaha dari nol itu dalam waktu 3 tahun mencatatkan keuntungan240 Miliar di tahun 1999 ketika perekonomian Indonesia mencret-mencret dan ratusan perusahan besar terkapar digulung badai krisis ekonomi. Wuedan tenan kan!  Bismilah Yakin sukses! Yakin! Dan Yakin! Tapi kalau pecundang akan bilang bisa ngga Ya? Sukses tidak ya? Cerita sukses di atas itu Cuma CT aja, lantas kita mah belum tentu! Aduh keras banget ini kepala pecundang.  Simak ya Eric Berne pernah mengingatkan.  Seorang pecundang tidak tahu apa yang akan dilakukannya bila kalah, tapi sesumbar tentang apa yang akan dilakukannnya bila menang.  Sedang pemenang tidak akan berbicara apa yang akan di lakukannya bila menang. Tapi tahu apa yang akan dilakukannya bila ia kalah.

Aa Djamaludin

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